The Power of Vulnerability - Part 1

Power of vulnerability
It’s amazing how often we feel vulnerable during the day! Many view this a weakness and something that needs to be crushed with whatever means. However, should this useful feeling be crushed? Decades of physiological research is showing one of our prominent needs is to experience connection with others.
  The flow chart below illustrates that we live in a vulnerable world! Notice the typical daily stimuli that can tax you, making you feel shame, putting you into “scarcity mode”. The number one fear that every human experiences is if people see our faults, then they reason that “I’m not enough”. For example, if I’m not strong enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, not intelligent enough, not skinny enough etc. therefore I’m not worthy of connection and love. Then people start to die inside if left unchecked! This core fear will never go away, however, I will share practical ways on dealing with this.  

Figure 1 - The causes that may trigger vulnerability

Let’s take the “someone not saying hello to us” scenario. Imagine your friend wanting to introduce you to some of his friends. When his friends arrive, he does not introduce you, but starts laughing and enjoying the conversation.  Let’s say you decided to wait, but still not introduced, and your feeling left out. Perhaps you reason, maybe I’m not smart enough, or maybe my clothes are not trendy enough and you start to feel shame, and enter into scarcity mode. At this point, you lose your power to step up and do what’s necessary!  Everyone seems to be ignoring you, taxing you even further, and causing you to go deeper into scarcity mode. Then after an hour, you start feeling this excruciating vulnerability – “why am I here? I’m not good enough for them. I will just go home and play on my computer, or watch a movie, or read a book”!! Honestly, has this ever happened to you? Ever been to a place and you just don’t fit in?
NOTE: Making a decision when you’re in fear or hurt, is ALWAYS the wrong decision!

What’s interesting is that people who live in feelings like fear, guilt or even mild depression will resort to drugs, coffee or some stimulant to get rid of the pain. Or they use the “drug” of sadness or self-pity as a means of connecting with friends and family or themselves. If this is you, please BREAK OUT of this destructive cycle now! With our Emotional Mastery coaching, we can help you break out of this cycle once and for all. Email us at:

For now recognise that pain happens when our model of the world does not match our life conditions. And suffering happens when our model of the world does not match our life conditions, and we are powerless to stop the pain.

NOTE: Pain is inevitable and part of life, but suffering is optional! We can always do something to change the pain, even in small ways, therefore the nature of the pain also changes.

Here is a life changing suggestion: Use your pain as drive to give more to those you love! Pain will always open up a well, the question is what will you fill it with, more pain or love?

In my next article, I will discuss the price you pay for numbing and practical solutions!

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